My mind is still a swirling mess of depression, giddiness and laughter. 2011 has been a tough year.
2011 reared it’s ugly head early.
My dad was hospitalized for almost a week. A month after, my grandfather (now deceased) was diagnosed with stage IV colon cancer. It sucks to be a healthcare professional in such case. Understanding every diagnostic procedure and knowing every medical term suddenly seemed like a curse. The worst case scenarios came playing in my head. I remember wishing if I can vanish pronto even for a while, just to keep my mind off these nagging thoughts. It was a difficult period. Nonetheless, I learned that prayer is still our most powerful tool.
2011 may be a tough one, but I still had my fair share of fun moments.
For the majority time, I was a trainee at a government hospital. I had to endure grueling hours of lectures, return demonstrations and of course, the hospital duty. It was no picnic. I felt sleepy during lecture and wanted to quit in the residency program mid-training. I was shocked with the workload in the hospital. Patients complain, doctors would write down orders with a 5 second interval and consultants need you to know EVERY single thing about your patients. I was on different shifts and my metabolism didn’t benefit. (hint hint: I gained weight) No matter how stressful things are in the clinical area, everything became bearable because of people you call FRIENDS.
My co-trainees Gaby, Me-An, Cha and Aaron are heaven sent. They are the people who understood my every single rant (duty related) and so they are also the people who talk some sense about it. They’re my contractual siblings (we’re together for a good 6 months) but forever friends.
L to R: Gaby, Cha, Me-An, JC during our sportsfest
I am also forever grateful to our staff nurses who became mentors and good friends. There is truth when they say that “what you read in the books doesn’t always hold true in the real setting”. There is so much more to learn in the clinical area. Still so many techniques, procedures, medications and values to know by heart.
L to R: Gaby, JC, Ming, Allen, Liz, Jolo, Cha
Our proud Team Pedia mini poster 🙂
I can bombard this post with pictures during our wonderful 6 months stay but I’d rather not spill the other pictures which contains the juiciest pedia deets. Too much for you to handle. Hahaha! 🙂
We all need to create a bigger social circle. Together with my pedia family, I have another group of friends who happens to be my schoolmates in college.
L to R: JC, Gaea, Blessy, Ken, Macon, Khaytie, Janet, Gaby
When things in our own respective wards becomes too much to handle, we turn to each other to rant and to devour on Mini Stop Ice Cream. Guess what? It works perfectly! 🙂 I am close to Gaby (since she’s a member of the pedia family too), Ken-Ken (we are a match made in cinemas and food) and Gaea (my long lost sister and now, kasa-kasama kahit saan). I love how we magically turn a fail moment to a laugh fest. They’re my happy duty pills. 🙂
2011 is a monster with two ugly heads. The other one showed up after my residency.
A few months after our residency program, I found myself asking “Now, now.. Where do I go?” In that moment, I knew something was rotting my system. Logically in the nursing world, after training, one is headed to the hospitals. The real-est of the real world. However, in my heart and mind, the hospital felt like a strange place. I pondered until it dawned on me: I am not happy with the work that I do.
At first, the idea seemed weird. Estudyante palang ako, nagdduty na ako sa hospital. Nagbibigay ng gamot. Nagiinjection, nagsusulat sa chart, nag-aassist sa operation. Bakit ngayon lang “to lumabas? Bakit hindi pa ako nag shift nun pa? Bakit ako nagtagal sa nursing and even bagged honors during graduation? Believe me when I say na kahit ako, di ko alam isasagot sa sarili kong tanong noong una. Entering college, I was the goal oriented nerd who wants to make her parents proud by bagging a latin honor in graduation. Yan ang naging motivation ko buong college life ko. I never had the time to think about what will happen in the future since I became so stuffed with school load. Next thing I knew, I passed the board exam. Hospital duty bound na ako.
6 months of hospital duty made me realize more that I don’t belong. Although at the back of my head, I know that I already invested so much time, effort and money in nursing. Nasayangan din naman ako. Dumating sa point na nasabi kong pagtitiisan ko nalang. However, I felt that it is not too late to go for something I really want. I do not want to end up with a miserable life. God placed that desire in my heart and He will not do so if He knows I cannot. He will sustain me to achieve it.
I must have the courage to go for what I want and to take charge with my life. I cannot say that I am perfectly settled with my plans. A lot of work still needs to be done. Knowing what I want is a good first step. Don’t you think?
On that note, let me thank my wonderful friend Kate for being my symphatetic ear during the times I am losing hope. Losing all the sense in the world. Thank you for being with me in this fight. Our dreams will always be connected by prayers. 🙂 Thank you for the encouraging love letter 🙂
Other highlights of 2011 include:
- meeting volleyball superstarts Gretchen Ho, Karla Bello, Jam Ferrer, Bea Pascual, Kara Acevedo and Ashley Gosiengfiao (plus sports analyst Boom Gonzales!)
- getting back to my original roots: hosting 🙂
- attended my elementary reunion (kahit na sasampu lang kami hehehe:)
- became a ninang to Liam and Paul (I now have 6 inaanak! 🙂
- met Sir Mico Halili, Jason Webb and Rob Labagala last time I watched a Ginebra game live (that’s two highlights right there!)
Gretchen Ho, the fangirl, Boom Gonzales, Jam Ferrer
my original roots: hosting (wait di naman hosting ito a?)
some of my elementary friends, Charlie”s Burger Ronac Center
like ninang, like godson; chubby Liam 🙂
Little Rob Labagala after a win against Alaska 🙂
2011 gave me (and my few brain cells) a tough time. But I must say, all the crap gave me an opportunity to know myself better. I am better equipped in facing the challenges 2012 may bring.
Ali Edwards, author of One Little Word said that “a single word can be a powerful thing. It can be the ripple in the pond that changes everything. It can be the catalyst for enriching your mind”. My little word is HAPPINESS (definitely next on the list is awesome). The word may be overrated but at the end of the day, that’s what counts. I want to be happy in all aspects of my life this 2012 and I am boldly claiming it! I have always believed that happiness can be planned. Choose a happy thought, hold on to it, claim it and let the universe conspire to surprise you.
Cheers to a bigger, better, bolder 2012 🙂